show_my_cannons | [Video] / Action for Azalea

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[Video] / Action for Azalea

[Hey! Look who it is! It's... Ironhide. In bed. In a pokemon center. Careful observers may notice that it is, in fact, the Azalea Town Pokemon Center.]

[They may also notice the old timer looks considerably more battered and bruised than the last time he appeared on the 'gear. One of his legs is pretty much completely immobilized. He's got an arm in a sling, and he's propped up on a pillow or two.]

[He is also scowling. But that's nothing new. His message is brief, growling.]

Made it to Azalea. Cliffjumper too.

... not going anywhere for a while.

(ooc: Takes place a good while after this.))

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Well, considering humans are like ninety-eight percent water, I think maybe we'll pass on the consumption of pure potassium.

_{[... As soon as they're all in the same city, Heather's gonna show 'em how to eat right. Because seriously, food is awesome.]}

If it doesn't, that means you're doing it wrong. Go to a restaurant or something once you can get up. It's worth it, I promise.

... Do not tempt me to try this.

[It probably says something to how much human culture he passed over in favor of learning about war, weapons and explosives, that going to a restaurant never occurred to him.]

I am not doing it wrong. Just... never done this before. Or gone... anywhere before.

... Don't try it. Seriously. I don't want you to like... blow up.

Anyway, c'mon, it's food! It's like... the one thing that all humans can agree pretty much rocks. What've you been EATING this whole time?

Who said I would try it on myself?

[He considers this question for a minute, before doing something probably detrimental to his health. He shifts around, reaching his good arm for something tossed at the foot of the bed.]

[... give him a minute. He'll get it.]

[It's a wrapper. From the pocket of his coat. And it previously contained the Jhoto version of a Cliff Bar or other nasty meal bar thing.]

These.

_{[... OH. ... WELL THEN. ... She'll just-- ... leave him to that, then.]

[But she leans in curiously when he pulls out the bar... and then makes a face. You know the kind. Somewhere half between disgust and incredulity.]}

... Those?

That's IT?

... Christ, no WONDER you don't think food tastes good. Holy SHIT.

Yeah. They were cheap, and effective.

[He shrugs his good shoulder slightly.]

Everything else was too fragile to pack around.

Oh, dude. Oh, dude.

No.

_{[As though this is some sort of TRAVESTY, Heather just... shakes her head, eyes shut tight.]}

No, man... just--

Cliff can still walk, right?

He needs to go out and buy ... like... muffins, or something, for you guys right now.

God, how are you even still alive if all you've been eating are those things... They taste like the skin of the elderly.

[Ironhide just sort of raises an eyebrow.]

Not really. He hurt his ankle...

[He pauses, before adding.]

Someone sent us baked things a while ago. Those were not bad. And we tried... making things. That failed.

[They burned everything they tried to cook.]

Well, it takes practice...

But man, that's what convenience stores are for! There's still like... a zillion things that're better than those.

_{[Otherwise she'd have never survived the trips from town to town.]}

Seriously, just... eat a sandwich, or order some takeout, or... or try some of the soup they always serve in the Centers, even that's not TOO bad!

I have had other things on my processor than... practicing your food. And better things to buy.

[Honestly, Napalm probably eats better than he does. She's his weapon, now, and Ironhide takes damn good care of his weapons. And his charges.]

And how am I to do any of that now? Hm? Just get up and go?

[ASK FOR HELP? HIM? NEVER.]

Well, you could just ask the nurse for some... or, y'know, use your 'Gear to look up places in town and be like 'Yo, bring a pizza to the Center'-- ... or I guess you're in Azalea, huh... Azalea doesn't really have anything.

_{[... Except Slowpokes.]

[So many Slowpokes.]}

... Hmnf.

[Oh, he will. He just won't admit to doing it. Ever.]

It has small... stupid pink things.

The Slowpokes?

Yeah, they're just kinda... everywhere.

... I heard you could eat those, but the townspeople would probably crucify anyone who tried. I tripped over one once and got some little old lady from one of the houses bitching me out for like twenty minutes.

... What about if one of the other creatures were to try and eat them?

I.... don't know.

I've never seen it happen.

I guess maybe they'd tell whoever it belonged to to make it stop? They're pretty protective of the little guys.

_{[She owns one herself, although he admittedly doesn't get out much-- too slow to be great at fighting, and Heather would also feel a little weird about putting her friend's old starter in the line of fire...]}

...

Maybe I should go get Jaws.

... Are you really sure it's a good idea to do something that might get a horde of angry villagers after you while you're laid up with a broken hip and shoulder?

... I would be trying to prevent the horde from happening.

Ohhhhh... right.

... Oh god, he's the bear, isn't he? Yeah. You should get him.

Yeah.

[And this is the part when he tries to haul himself back up in order to go and do just that.]

_{[Aaaand this is the part where Heather watches, cringing all the while. Oh god broken hip how is he even moving AAAAA.]}

Careful...!

[By virtue of having one good arm, and one good leg.]

[He doesn't get very far though, before he sort of flops back onto the bed, cursing colorfully in the best Cybertronian speech his human voice can manage.]

.... Mmmaybe you can ask one of the nurses to go get him for you.

[GRUNT. B( ]

I will get there.

You looked like you were about to pop that hip right out of its socket, the way you were goin'.